Battering and Abuse Happen in Same Sex Relationships, Too

Community Resources for Members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Communities:

• GAY AND LESBIAN RESOURCE CENTER (Pacific Pride Foundation) 126 E. Haley Street, Suite A-17. 963-3636. Counseling and advocacy for victims and survivors of abuse; counseling for abusers.


• UCSB RAPE PREVENTION EDUCATION PROGRAM (RPEP) The Women's Center, bldg. 434. Monday - Friday 10am - 5pm. 893-3778. Crisis counseling, advocacy, support groups, referrals.


• UCSB COUNSELING AND CAREER SERVICES (for UCSB students) Monday - Friday 8:30-11:45 am and 1-4:30 pm. 893-4411.


• UCSB RESOURCE CENTER FOR SEXUAL AND GENDER DIVERSITY, 3rd Floor of Ucen (Rooms 3135 and 3137). Monday - Friday 10 am - 5 pm. 893-5846.


• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SOLUTIONS FOR SANTA BARBARA COUNTY 24-hour crisis line: 964-5245. Business: 963-4458. Shelter for abused women and children; counseling, legal services, information, programs, advocacy. Confidential location.

Group and individual counseling for batterers:

• HELPLINE 692-4011. 123 W. Gutierrez St. 24-hour suicide/crisis intervention hotline.


• TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDERS can be obtained through the LEGAL AID CLINIC 963-6754. TRO's help keep batterers & stalkers away from intended victims, though they are not foolproof. Legal Aid is low cost, helpful.


• VICTIM/WITNESS ASSISTANCE PROGRAM (Office of the District Attorney) 568-2400. Help for victims of crimes.

MYTHS ABOUT GAY AND LESBIAN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Myth:
Only straight women get battered. Men are never victims of violence and women do not batter.
Fact:
The incidence rate of battering is approximately the same for gays and lesbians as for heterosexuals. Thirty percent of gays and lesbians experience some form of abuse in their intimate relationships compared to thirty-five percent in heterosexual relationships.
Myth:
It isn't violence when a same-sex couple fights. It's just a lover's quarrel, a "cat fight" or a fair fight between equals.
Fact:
Abuse is not about size or strength but perceived power and control. All abuse is emotionally and physically damaging and, just as in heterosexual battering, abuse can be lethal.
Myth:
Lesbian and gay domestic violence is a sexual behavior, a version of sadomasochism. The victims like it.
Fact:
Sadomasochism is consensual, and can be stopped by either partner at any time. Victims of domestic violence have no control over the abuse.
Myth:
It is easier for lesbian and gay victims of domestic violence to leave the abusive relationship than it is for heterosexual battered women who are married.
Fact:
Victims of domestic violence in both heterosexual and same-sex relationships stay in the abusive relationship for the same reasons: fear, shame, guilt, feelings of worthlessness, isolation - and love. Not having a marriage license does not make it easier to leave an abusive relationship. Also, lesbians and gay men who are abused have much more difficulty finding appropriate support than heterosexual women.